Rixon's love
by Becky M 2002
Summary: Rixon has never felt the touch of another, never smelt the world around or the feel of his own clothes. The only way he can feel is through his vessel, Barnabas, and even that isn't enough. But when Barnabas leaves France without a word, word spreads that he has the key of becoming free from Rixon. Rated M for violence, swearing and possibly other adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Rixon's POV**

1647, Scotland

Rixon stuck to the shadows, peering out slightly to see where his vessel was going. He was like this for hours, drifting between streets and shadows trying to keep from radar. A while later, Rixon watched as Barnabas stopped, he was up to something, Rixon could tell, by the way he drifted about town keeping things extremely hidden from Rixon. It was difficult to find the information that led Rixon to Scotland, to Barnabas because he just up and left, without a word.

Barnabas had stopped outside a lit house. The window beside the door was seeping light out. The door opened wide and Rixon saw a large woman. From what he could see was that the woman was well into her late fifties, her eyes were hardened, her skin had toughened and wrinkled. He watched the woman glare at Barnabas then push something into his hands.

The door closed over and Barnabas stood looking down into his hands. He watched Barnabas smirk then throw what was in his hand away. Barnabas took off again, whistling. He seemed more relaxed, less hurried. Curious, Rixon came out of his shadow and picked up a small folded over piece of paper. He looked back at the casual retreating figure then down at the note.

 _Helen Gray_

The note was blank of anything else. Annoyed and slightly intrigued, Rixon took off the way he came, thousands of questions whirled around in his head. Who was Helen Gray? Why was Barnabas wanting her? The more he thought about her, the more thunderous his thoughts became. He turned around and sprinted after Barnabas. He kept his steps silent, he ran down several streets until he stopped, hard.

Barnabas stood little of three feet away. Rixon clenched his jaw and shoved his hands in his pockets, "I never pegged you to be paranoid, Rixon."

"Tell me when you leave the country and I wouldn't have to be!" Rixon said making Barnabas turn around, there was something sparkling in Baranbas's eyes, a new sense of hope, maybe.

"You want to know who Helen Gray is?" Barnabas asked smuggly

"I could guess, she might be the key of breaking your vow to me." Rixon shrugged, the sparkling darkened making Rixon smile, "See I don't need to know who she is. Barnabas, I can read you like a book, you desire to be free from me, you will fight and that's what I like about you, but it's getting a little annoying on my part."

"Sorry, I annoy you." Barnabas snapped

His demeanor broke. Rixon slammed him into the wall at a bone cracking speed, Barnabas cringed as Rixon punched him in the stomach, it was as if he wanted to punch through his stomach and meet the wall behind him. Barnabas slid down the wall, coughing up blood. Rixon yanked his hair up so their faces were level, "Nothing can break the promise to heaven."

"Are you sure about that?" Barnabas grinned, Rixon started pounding him into the wall, fists turning his stomach into minced meat, his blood bursting out everywhere.

Stepping away, Rixon wiped his hands on his jacket watching Barnabas's crumpled body just lie there. He kicked his ribs hearing them shatter, one by one. Rixon turned on his heels and headed back the way he came. He had to find this Helen Gray and end her, he couldn't take any chances.

He walked through alleyways and streets going towards the town center. With each step he took the more he could hear laughter and music, he headed towards that, maybe the people knew where he could find her.

"Rixon!" the fallen angel turned to his left as a middle aged man closed the shutters of his shop.

"David!" Rixon broke out with a smile, he liked the human for his quick wit and cunningness.

"It's not like you to be late to a party. Especially when there are women present." David winked at him

"David," small talk aside, "Do you know a Helen Gray?"

"What did she take your fancy?" David asked

"No, a friend is looking for her actually." Rixon said.

David locked the last shutter door when he turned and stood beside Rixon. David said, "If your talking about the person I'm thinking about, the girl works in a herbal shop two streets away, she's in the tavern as we speak."

This was getting easier, he thought.

Just then, the tavern door opened and the world seemed to stop as the most gorgeous woman walked out , "That's her." She was beautiful, creamy white skin with long golden hair. The girl was human, he could sense it but she looked like an angel. Rixon watched as she walked around the corner and out of sight.

"I think someone is struck." David watched Rixon closely, reading everything that Rixon was failing to hid on his face.

"I'll see you later." Rixon faintly heard David grunt as he took off after the girl.

He watched as the girl carried herself, knowingly, rushed, slightly panicked. He was sussing her out when she walked past a crowd of drunk middle aged men. They took one look at her and hounded her down into a street off her course.

"Hey...Come here!" One slurred loudly, "Your gorgeous."

The others laughed.

"Let me be!" The girl growled

"We just want fun!" One man giggled, "Show us fun."

Rixon turned the corner just as the girl screamed. Without warning, Rixon tore the men away from the girl. He flung two into a wall and the other guy over it. Rixon looked down at the girl and his breath caught, up close, the girl was breath-taking. She would be heavenly if the side of her face wasn't bleeding.

"Who the fu-ck are you?!" one of the men embedded into the wall snapped drunkly, "Get away from her, she's ours!"

"Leave the maiden alone! Unless you don't want to keep your tongues!" Rixon turned away from the men and kneeled down before the girl, "I'm not going to hurt you."

The girl blinked then said, "Thank you."

"Let me walk you home." Rixon held his hand out to her and almost dropped her hand when they touched. He was shocked that he could feel it, over millennia he never felt another's touch. Why now? Why her?

She shakingly got to her feet and the two of them headed back down the street. The both of them were deep in silence, Rixon's thoughts going a mile a minute. He shook them away, he would deal with them later.

"Who are you?" the girl asked

"I'm Rixon." He said, "And you?"

"Helen." She smiled a little, "I can't thank you again, for saving me."

"A man should never treat a woman like that, intoxicated or not." He told her.

They both fell into silence again.

"I-you." They said at the same time, the both of them stopped and smiled.

"You first." She said

"You're bleeding." His face fell as he stopped her.

He cupped the good side of her face, trying to ignore her warm skin on his hand or the way he could feel her at all. He was slowly broken inside, he wanted this, he wanted to feel so badly and he was given it. He didn't understand, at all. Rixon wiped the side of her face with a clean handkerchief, he couldn't breathe as he stood so close to her. He focused on the head wound as the blood dripped out of it.

He pressed the fabric to it and she winced, "I'm sorry." He muttered, two words he hasn't spoken before. He needed help, he needed advice, he needed something. Helen covered his hand with hers making him shudder inside.

"Are you an angel?" Helen asked making Rixon smile.

"Far from it." He muttered

"Your mine now," She smiled, sweetly.

Taking her good arm, Rixon escorted her back home. They started talking again, getting more comfortable around each other but it was cut short as she slowed down near a door. She took the fabric from her head but Rixon covered it again, "Keep it, you might need it."

She smiled then opened the door. She stopped between the threshold. She turned back with a curious glint on her face, "Will I see you again?"

"Oh you will," He promised making the girl's smile widen.

"Good night." She headed inside and the door closed, snapping him back into reality.

"Good night." he whispered, he smiled to himself, letting himself feel the fireworks and the raw joy he suppressed.

 _Pathetic!_ He screamed at himself. Anger started to boil inside him and he took off, he couldn't feel anything for this girl, he wouldn't, not if he was going to kill her. And killing her is what he was doing, no ands or buts, he's doing it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Barnabas POV**

Barnabas staggered to his feet. He couldn't feel his face, his head felt like it was filled with cotton wool, his vision blurred as he tried to get to his feet. He grabbed a hold of the wall he was battered into and heaved himself upright. He had to get to her. In his head, he chanted **_You can't let him hurt her!_** He knew he'd kill her because she was a threat to his access to touch or feeling.

He dragged himself down the street towards an old house near the docks. Each step was unbridled agony, his steps were the stabbings of a thousand knives, each knife digging in and twisting. As he reached the house he fell against the wood and battered his fist against the wooden door. The door opened and a small gasp came from in front of him.

Opening his swollen eyes, he saw horror on his sister's face.

"What happened?" Helen pulled him into the house and into the living room. It was warm and cozy, flickers of light pulsed through the room that came from the fireplace, "Who did this to you?"

Helen sat him on the couch as he said, "You need to leave, there's someone here who is trying to kill you. And it's all my fault."

Helen grimaced and picked up a cloth from the table. She sat down next to Barnabas and gently wiped his blood from his woulds, "Who's trying to hurt me?" Helen asked. Once the wounds were clear, she went across the room and dug around in a drawer nearest the door. She walked back with a small bowl.

"I guess I am lucky you are a witch." Barnabas smiled, ignoring the question.

"If you don't tell me what I need to know, I'll put the cream away." Helen threatened as she rubbed the said cream into his healing wounds.

Barnabas groaned as Helen got up and went into the next room. He collapsed into Helen's vacant seat and the pressure behind his eyes forced them close. He sighed feeling an odd sense of safety, it was hard to understand but he relished it, nonetheless.

Helen walked through and sighed. She sat down on the coffee table, smiling slightly. It had been over nine years since they last saw each other and a lot has changed between them. Barnabas was a mountain of a man, heavily built with a hardness to his stare. She remembered the small, lanky child that protected her from the nightmares, she conjured up when she was little. That was until his father packed up his and Barnabas's things and left them.

Helen reached over him and pulled down a grey blanket, she lay it over him and softly tucked him in. Smiling slightly, Barnabas listened to her footsteps as they went into the hall then down into her room. The room was set in a low silence, the crackling of the fire was all he heard until the darkness took him.

 **Mid-afternoon the next day- Rixon POV**

The room was heavy with cigar smoke and tension. Rixon was leaning back in his chair watching a table of worried humans. Before last night, he loved watching humans worry, they were so easy to read when they were but now, he couldn't care less. That night after meeting Helen, he was so angry and determined but the more he thought about her the more he was sad. His emotions were wrecking him.

 _ **Looks like we're in for a winner!**_ Patch smirked from across the table, pulling Rixon out of his expanding sadness.

 _ **Aye but I want it easier, mess with their minds a little.**_ Rixon spoke back, scratching his stubbly chin.

He sighed then looked at each human, they broke down their barriers that disinguised reality and snapped the strings in half, replacing the broken fibers with the images he wanted them to see. Each human growled as a result and swore, "Fold!" Just as Rixon showed his cards.

"For fucksake!" Several men swore

Rixon smirked, smuggly as he collected his winning which consisted of £25, a boat, a silver metal cigar case and a Stirling silver flask. he didn't desire or need any of the items but he held a great satisfaction that he bet the humans again. The door behind them opened but none of the men noticed.

 _ **Did it work? Are you still thinking about her?**_ Patch asked.

Rixon swallowed, he thought about her constantly. He would go as far as to admit that he lay awake thinking about her. How could he not, he can feel her, the world around him seemed to welcome him when he was around her. And it helped that she was stunningly beautiful, everything about her attracted him and he was growing mad with the want and longing for her.

He lied, terribly and said, _**If you**_ _ **didn't mention her, I'd go through the day not thinking of her.**_

Patch smiled, _**Bullshit! If I was in the same position as you, I'd think of her every second, of every day.**_

Rixon rolled his eyes, only to find realisation on Patch's face _ **, You do think of her. I have got to meet this girl, if she's got you so wound up then she mu-**_

Rixon tuned him out. He couldn't deal with the fact that she was worth it, the little time he spent with her. The want to kill her and be done with this feeling was slowly fading, the want for her was growing and it scared him. He never felt this way before, for anyone let alone a girl.

A hand snapped him out of his thoughts. It slipped into his top pocket, tracing his peck which he couldn't feel. Rixon twisted around and his eyes connected to a pair of blue eyes. She smiled, winked then headed back out the house.

 _ **What was that about?**_ Patch asked but Rixon ignored him.

Rixon pulled out a note from his pocket which said _, Come and get me handsome. Out in the street!  
_

He didn't know what to do. He could be impulsive and leave to find the girl or continue with the game. Sighing, he burst from his seat and headed outside. He walked past the alley beside the building when he was grabbed into alleyway and pressed against a wall.

The girl kissed him passionately. To the girl it was marvelous but to Rixon he was instantly repulsed. He couldn't feel her but guilt pulsed inside him. His mind was telling him to stop along with his heart but his nature was too proud. He kissed the human back too harshly making her breathe out uneasily. His heart and head were constricting and crushing him as he continued until he couldn't handle it. He pushed her away and marched off, not going in a particular way.

He was overwhelmed and terrified. His head hung and didn't lift up for anything until he felt something slammed into him with force. Annoyed and angry, he snapped out, "WATCH IT!"

"Sorry!" Helen snapped back.

The voice pulled him out of stupor. "Helen?" the guilt sat in his stomach like lead.

"Rixon? What the hell are you doing?" She said then saw the expression he had on his face, she softened. She slipped her hands into his and his heart expanded as the electricity sparked.

He shuddered, "Nothing."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe." She smiled. It brightened him back up.

He didn't say anything until he brought her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist, he marvelled at the fact that he could feel the fabric that clothed her which was soft and thick, he smiled and said, "Spend the rest of the day with me?"

"And do what?" She smiled wider, shrugging. She took another step towards him until he could feel her heart race against him.

"You could show me around." He proposed with a smirk.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned closer, their eyes locked and he smiled as his emotions turned from guilt to happiness in seconds. He watched as her face fell, the brightness in her eyes died as she said, "Could I? Because it smells like you've been around already." She pulled out of his grip and walked across the street. He watched that her shoulders have slumped and her arms were wrapped around her.

Rixon fell against the wall of a building watching her retreating figure. He couldn't stand the way his heart shattered or the emptiness he felt. Rixon shook his head then took off, and continued walking the way he was originally going. The more he walked, the more the world drained of colour. He didn't know where he was going until a strong smell of alcohol hit him. He walked across the tavern and collapsed into a chair at the bar.

"Double whiskey." He said to the barman.

The first glass didn't help so he grabbed the bottle from the barman and sat, depressed for the rest of the night. The tavern became that warm, cozy feeling and somehow, Rixon sensed it was nightfall. He didn't care about anything. Rixon stared into the wooden bar, his tumbler forgotten and his bottle held only slithers of whiskey.

"Last call!" the bartender yelled

Rixon drained the rest of his whiskey and staggered to his feet. He stumbled out the tavern, unknowingly going somewhere. It did feel familiar to him, however. His vision was doubled but by the way the streets bent and straightened, he got a sense of orientation even if it was small. Rixon dragged himself through the street when he cringed at the sudden burst of light.

"Rixon?" he stopped. His sadness drained into nothing as he turned to the voice.

"Helen!" He slurred

"What the hell happened? Come inside, you'll catch your death." Helen wrapped her arm around his waist helping him up the steps to her house.

"Aren't you afraid I might take advantage of you?" He smiled lazily

"You didn't the night before, you won't now." Helen dumped him on the couch before the fire, "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

"I could 'hink of somin!" he drawled, she merely shook her head and went into the next room, "Hey! I'm sowwy, don't go!"

Chuckling, Helen returned with a glass of water. She sat beside him, handing him the glass, "You need to sober up."

He growled back as a response, taking the glass from her. As the glass was empty he sat it on the table then collapsed into her lap. He closed his eyes, delighting in the fact he could feel her soft thighs. What got him most was her fingers running throw his hair, soothing him.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, a little more soberly, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"What are you talking about?" Helen asked making Rixon frown.

"For earlier, I just-can't..." He let out a haggard breath and said in a whisper, "I can't get you out of my head. I've thought about you constantly, the softness of your skin, your golden hair, your grey eyes, I don't find this healthy."

Helen's fingers stilled for a second then she whispered back, "I've thought about you too, all day."

Rixon turned around but remained lying on her lap, "You thought of me?"

"Since you left me at my doorstep." She said brushing a hair from his forehead, he trembled at her touch.

Rixon sat up slowly, the look on her face was guiding him closer to her. She dindt say a word as his hand brushed her cheek. He moved closer until their lips met and the world ended for him. He was forever connected to this goddess for eternity. He leaned in more until their chests brushed against each other, another thing to make him shudder.

He held the back of her neck with one hand and gripped her hip with the other. He slowly lifted her until she sat on his lap with her legs thrown over his hips. Helen ran her hands through his hair pulling him that inch closer. Their lips came apart and their tongues were invited inside, the pair of them lost to bliss and pleasure. Rixon's emotions were flying high, higher than they originally were.

Helen broke away as the both of them breathed heavily, "I don't want to pretend."

"Neither do I." He whispered and moved in again to kiss her. He bypassed her lips and kissed her exposed neck. Her pulse raced in her throat and he sighed as he felt it. Helen ran a hand to his cheek and played with the ends of his hair, stiffening and moaning when his lips brushed sensitive parts of her neck. He was about to kiss her lips when the front door opened.

"Helen!" Rixon froze at the sound of the voice.

Helen paused, she was trapped in Rixon's arms and he wasn't going to move any time soon but it didn't matter, the door opened and Barnabas walked in.

"YOU BASTARD!" Rixon was thrown into the coffee table and it broke in their wake. Barnabas was lucky that he startled Rixon because they wouldnt have made it to the floor if Rixon were expecting it.

Barnabas punched and punched, and punched until Rixon's face was unrecognisable. He ignored his sister's screams and Rixon was too shattered to consider it. Without warning, Barnabas was thrown from him and he was pulled into Helen's lap. He coughed and groaned at the sudden crash of pain. His eyes were heavy and he was numb all over.

"Rixon, honey, I am so sorry." She kissed his forehead

"Don't apologise to that!" Barnabas spat.

Rixon was helped up but the boiling anger in his stomach was festering, "No I shouldn't, you should." Helen snapped, she helped him again get to his feet but for the first time he was overwhelmed by the pain that his knees buckled and he crashed to the ground.

When he crashed to the ground, he fell into a cold, lonely, void.


End file.
